blog, POTHEAD POETRY May 22, 2019

Compromise.

He said red.
She said blue.
They compromised on purple.

She said three.
He said five.
They compromised on four.

He said yes.
She said no.
There was no compromise.
She lost.


 

Author notes: The original title of this poem was called: Compromise Means Jean Loses. Then I realized I was taking things too personally. Compromise means mutual concession, with each side giving a little and getting a little and when I was writing this, I was thinking what happens when there is just no way to compromise? Like in sexual situations, where a ‘no’ is given and it is not taken.

blog May 20, 2019

Weed Will Never Kill You

This is a joint.
I’ll get to the point.
Weed will never kill you.

Now before you jeer,
I’ll make it quite clear.
That weed will never kill you.

You know what will kill you? Guns. Cigarettes. Opioids. Just being a black person at home. You know what won’t ever kill you? Weed. Do you know how many people of die every year from using marijuana? None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Nemo. In the history of the world, there has never been a death by marijuana. It is physiologically impossible to fatally overdose on weed.

On average, 96 Americans killed with guns every day. The quick math on that is 35,000 people a year die from guns. Death by guns is dwarfed by deaths from cigarette smoking, which kills 480,000 people a year. Oh, and if you’re still smoking cigarettes, please save your life and switch to smoking weed. And in between deaths from guns and cigarette smoking, there are over 49,000 deaths a year by opioids.

So, let us look at some everyday things that take the lives of Americans.

Like hotdogs. 77 people have choked to death on a hotdog. And in 2014, a South Dakota man lost his life when he choked to death in a hot-dog eating contest. So, weed is safer than hot dogs. Because weed will never kill you.

Ever dance in the rain? Well, lightning has caused 51 deaths. Auto-erotica asphyxiation has caused 160 deaths so far. And dogs kill 30-40 people a year. So, weed is safer than dancing in the rain, solo sex and hanging out with your furry companion. Because weed will never kill you.

These four things are deadlier than weed.

Vending machines have killed 13 people, mostly from them toppling over. Roller coasters have cost at least four people their lives. And while the odds are infinitesimal that you will have a vending machine fall on you or that you would fall out of a roller coaster seat, weed is still safer than getting an on-the-go snack and spending your day at an amusement park. Because weed will never kill you.

450 Americans die falling out of bed every year. And here’s the thing, if you were high when you fell out of bed, it wouldn’t be the weed that kills you, it would be the fall that did you in. Just like if a 1000 pounds of weed (or anything really: cupcakes, puppies, books) fell on your head, you would die, though it would be from the weight, not the weed (or cupcakes, puppies, books). Because weed will never kill you.

73 people have died taking selfies. And as of April 16, 2018,  there have been 17 deaths of/by people playing Pokémon go. So much death, that there is a site called PokemonGo Death Tracker. So, weed is safer than playing online games IRL.

On any given year, sharks kill between 5-8 people. And as a side note, according to NatGeo, 93% of shark attacks worldwide were on men, so that’s something to consider the next time you dudes are snorkeling. Horses and cows kill about 20 people each year and most randomly, about 15 people have died by icicles all over the world. So, weed is safe than being on the ocean or on a farm. Or you know, living through a bad winter.

Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t eat a hog dog, ride a roller coaster, dance in the rain, go swimming in the ocean or hang out around livestock. I’m saying that people do all those things and more knowing that death could be lurking around the fairgrounds or the meadow or the next wave. And yet, when it comes to smoking a joint, or any consumption of cannabis, people are all up in arms about public health and safety, when in fact, it is one of the safest activities you can enjoy.

Because – and this is the important takeaway here – it is physiologically impossible to fatally overdose on weed. Which means, and say it with me now everyone, weed will never kill you.

blog May 17, 2019

AMERICANS LOVE MARIJUANA

If you were one of 10 people in a room right now, you would probably be able to smoke a big fatty with five of those other people, because the latest poll from Gallup reported that legalized marijuana has a 66% national approval rate! I know, it feels like Christmas all over again.

Here’s the breakdown of how the upswing happened: the first time Gallup asked the question about legalizing marijuana was during the counterculture movement in 1969, when tricky Dick Nixon was in the White House, and only 12% of American adults supported legalization. By the time the Eighties & Nineties came around, marijuana’s approval rate had doubled to 25%, where it pretty much stayed few decades.

Then came the turn of the century and The Aughts found a third of American adults stating they were in favor of marijuana legalization. And in 2018, it doubled again and now stands at 66% national approval. We have reached the tipping point regarding marijuana legislation & there is no turning back. Every day, in state assemblies, there is progressive and comprehensive marijuana legislation being proposed and enacted. For both recreational and medicinal legalization. There are thousands of sick children, Veteran’s and senior citizens who are actively benefiting from marijuana and I triple-double-dare you to tell the parent of an epileptic child you are taking away the only treatment that works for their child. Plus, cannabis is a proven billion-dollar industry, offering hundreds of thousands of jobs to Americans in 29 different states.

And even Republicans love weed, too! Well, not Jeff Sessions. Sure, Democrats are the ones who have traditionally been behind social changes & political advancements, though it seems as if red states are finally seeing the benefits of marijuana as well.  Understand that approval of marijuana does not necessarily equate to use of marijuana, though the statistics are very promising. According to the Gallup poll, Republicans expressing support for marijuana legalization is up nine points from last year, and currently stands at 52%.

That is what I call progress. Of course, there is still plenty of work to be done in and for communities of color that have been disproportionately effected by marijuana criminalization (I am looking at you Oakland and Newark!), so stay tuned for more on this… in the meantime, smoke it if you got it.

blog May 16, 2019

FIRST!

They say you should write about what you know. Well, I’ve been a woman my entire life and a pothead for half of it, so I figure I know enough about these things to write about them. Plus, I figured it was high time I procured myself some Internet real estate.

My vision for this blog is simple: to show the world that a marijuana-infused lifestyle is a wholly acceptable way of life and to chronicle my journey as I make my way in the cannabis space. I aim to entertain, educate and enchant you, all the while dispelling the myth of what a pothead is. As you can tell by my picture above, I look nothing like Seth Rogen. 

We see more and more women empowering themselves to use their voices, so I am using mine to throw down with the cannabis crowd. I speak with firsthand knowledge about the benefits of medicinal and recreational marijuana. You see, I was diagnosed with a crazy, rare brain infection in 2000 and went into remission in 2012, so I know what it is like to be both patient and partier. 

And blogging is just the beginning for me, as this puts in motion Phase I of my Master Plan to create a billion-dollar global marijuana empire. That’s right, I said it: a billion-dollar global marijuana empire. Hit me up if you think we should work together, I have all kinds of ideas: for edibles, for tv shows, for merchandise. Not to mention a few other things up my sleeve that I am keeping under wraps for now. It’s like what Resident Internet Badass Cindy Gallop says, “Social sharing can make shit happen for women.” So, here I am.  Sharing.

You see, inspiration found me on one particularly stony evening as I lay in my hammock, lost in thought. It dawned on me that women have had no real pop culture pot icons. I mean when I was growing up, the boys had Cheech & Chong and Bill & Ted and Harold & Kumar and Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson, and yet girls had no one to identify with. Not really. Not until recently.

And while there are more female-centric weed shows on TV than ever, like “Disjointed” on Netflix and the just ended “Broad City” on Comedy Central (RIP to the Matron of all marijuana shows, “Weeds”), let’s face it, it will take some time before Abbi & Ilana really sink into the mainstream zeitgeist. And that show specifically highlights the trials and tribulations of young stoner chicks who need to get their lives together. The belief is that smoking weed is a phase one goes through as opposed to believing it is an open and honest lifestyle choice.

Women are more than their stereotypes, in the cannabis culture and beyond.  And women smoke weed. Some are working mothers or independent career women who sometimes just swap out the chardonnay for the chronic.

Think about it, ever since the beginning of the whole counter culture and all that “Reefer Madness” nonsense, there has been a serious lack in positive female role models in the cannabis space. I am here to change that, by thought and word and deed. There will be deep-dives, hot takes, listicles, photo essays, random poetry and whatever else crosses my mind. And I plan on championing and amplifying those women around me who are doing the same and advocating for social and racial equity in the cannabis space. 

So, welcome to my world, coming straight to you from the intersection of (not just white) Women and Weed.